Adik

Oo, marahil ay adik na nga akong matatawag. Adik sa badminton. Pero, gustuhin ko mang maglaro araw-araw, hindi kakayanin ng katawan at bulsa ko. Haaayyyyyy....

Lately, 'eto na ang masasabi kong tanging 'gimik' ko sa buhay. Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung ano talagang naidudulot nito sa akin at na-adik ako. Hindi naman pagpapapawis dahil kung pwede nga lang, eh, 'wag akong pagpawisan sa paglalaro. Aaahhhh....alam ko na! Dahil sa badminton, may dahilan o may 'venue' na ko sa pagtili at pagsigaw! Hahahaha...Pang-alis ba ng tensyon sa buhay! c",)

Hay naku! Minsan nga iniisip ko, pa'no na lang ang kinabukasan ko 'pag nagpatuloy 'tong ka-adikan na 'to. Pa'no ako magkaka-asawa nito kung laging raketa na lang ang kapiling ko sa 'gimik'. Baka tuluyan na kong maging matandang-dalaga! Nakakatawa naisip ko, 'no? Wala lang. Dala lang din ito ng 'pressure' mula sa mga taong 'nagmamalasakit' sa akin at sa kinabukasan ko. c",) Eh, naisip ko rin naman, pa'no naman kung sa ka-adikan ko rin palang ito makikilala ang 'future hubby' ko, di ba? Kaya nga 'di ko na pinag-iintindi mga kaisipang ito, eh. Mapa-praning lang ako.

Basta ako, gusto ko na uling mag-badminton!!! c",)

Mabuti pa ang hangin...

alam kong naandiyan siya kahit di ko nakikita. Nadarama ko ang kahalagahan niya, at alam naman niyang kailangan ko siya.

Bakit ikaw? Nakikita kita. Nakakausap pa nga. Nagkakatabi pero magkalayo pa rin. Sabi nga nila, "you're so near, yet so far". Ano ba?! Bakit ako apektado?! Ano ba'ng mayro'n? Wala naman, eh...Eh, bakit ako ganito?! EWAN KO! Di ko alam! Ayoko na ring alamin pa.

Gusto ko mang sabihin kong akin ka, lolokohin ko lang ang sarili ko. Ngayon pa?! Hindi bale, makakalimot din ako. Maibabaon ko rin sa alaala ko kung anuman ito. Hindi ako dahon kaya hindi ako dapat magpumilit kumapit sa puno. Hayaan ko na lang ang sarili ko na maging malaya sa anumang isipin o alalahanin lalo na kaugnay sa 'yo. (Tulungan nawa ako ng Panginoong Maykapal).

Anyone At All

by Carole King

Funny how I feel more myself with you
Than anybody else that I ever knew
I hear it in your voice,see it in your face
You've become a memory I can't erase
You could have been anyone at all
A stranger falling out of the blue
I'm so glad it was you
It wasn't in the plan,not that I could see
Suddenly a miracle came to me
Safe within your arms I can say what's true
Nothing in the world I would keep from you
You could have been anyone at all
An old friend calling out of the blue
I'm so glad it was you
Words can hurt you if you let them
People say them and forget them
Words can promise,words can lie
But your words make me feel like I can fly
You could have been anyone at all
And that's what catches me when I fall
I'm so glad it was you
You could have been...

If you've watched the movie "You've Got Mail", I hope you'll remember this song. It was sung during the credits. It was only around last year when I got the chance to watch it again thru the cable TV and it's only then I got to hear this song. It made me cry. I just did. Maybe I felt what it's trying to say. Or maybe I'm just a crybaby. *shrugs*

enough of the unrequited love, pls...*sigh*

You Don't Know Me
sung by Jann Arden; revived by Michael Buble


You give your hand to me
And then you say hello
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell,
You think you know me well
But you don't know me
mmmmm
No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
Who longs to kiss your lips,
Longs to hold you tight
Oh I am just a friend,
That's all I've ever been
Cause you don't know me
I never knew the art of makin' love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by,
The chance that you might love me too
You give your hand to me and then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky girl
Oh you will never know,
The one who loves you so,
Well, you don't know me
You give your hand to me,
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away beside the lucky girl
Oh you will never know,
The one who loves you so,
Cause you don't know me
Ohhhhh, no you don't know me
Oooooh, you don't know me.

lifting up the spirits

Everyday, I get to receive inspirational messages from Globe Telecoms. I also have subscribed to its Goodnews feature aside from the monthly ringback tones. Based on the daily messages I get, I presumed that most of them came from the Jesuits.

I'm not as religious as how I wanted myself to be. I had only fully realized the importance of the Sunday mass when I became a student of the University of Santo Tomas, the largest and oldest Catholic university in this country. From then on, I do my best to attend the Sunday mass regularly and during the Holy Days of Obligation. Most of the time, I attend mass alone.

Now back to the inspirational messages. I tried to read the daily readings of the mass and the reflections written by some priests. But, unfortunately, I often fail to do that lately. And I'm just glad that I have these text messages. They help me a lot in maintaining my sanity and most of the time, they serve as my reminders and consolers (if there is such a word). What I do is I don't delete them until I got to write them down in my notebook. For future purposes and reference, I thought.

I'd like to share some of those that I love and/or that hit me big time. c",)

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08/06/04: ..."Lord, I don't want to be enslaved by wrong values in my life. Make my heart & mind pure. Make me truly free so that I will be more free to serve only You."...

===> I am still guilty of this...

08/15/04: ..."Dear Lord, let me always praise You in my words & actions. Make me always greatful for Your gifts & aware of Your guiding hand in my life. Mary, our Mother, pray for us!"...

===> I pity myself for often forgetting to thank Him for everything, for being the Only One who's 100% there/here for me, who loves me.

10/05/04: "Life's simple joys are everywhere. Just look around or exert little effort in finding those that move us or give us reasons to celebrate life. It could be chasing dragonflies, watching kids at play, waiting for sunrise or eating a hearty meal (especially with bare hands!). What are your simple joys? 'Lord, thank You for the gift of life. May I always take time to relish life's simple joys with gusto. May I make the most of the goodness of the one life You gave me. Amen.'"

==> I'm doing my best to remember and practice this, enjoy even the smallest thing here on earth. c",)

10/12/04: "In the midst of a busy day, find some quiet time alone. You may simply close your eyes & just be aware of God's presence. Forget your worries for awhile. This spiritual exercise can calm & soothe your spirit. It can keep you focused when you feel lost. It can lead you back to your center, where you can draw much strength. 'Lord, when I run about, teach me to walk. When I can't quit moving, make me still. Allow me to stay in Your loving gaze, where I can gather my scattered self.'"

===> a very appropriate prayer for myself...

11/13/04: "Recall this week's great & small moments that have made you feel God's love for you. If your life this past week was flashing on a big screen, what scenes would speak to you of God's presence? Notice how even the dark & low points reveal the hidden face of God in your life. 'I thank You Lord with all my heart. I praise Your name for Your fidelity & love. For You have exalted over all Your name & Your promise. When I cried out You answered, You strengthened my spirit.' (Ps 138:1-3)"

===> how selfish can I get whenever I ask Him why the unfortunate/sad events must happen to me...

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I'm not a perfect Christian. I may want to be better, but, I have to work harder and never forget what He means to me.

So, help me God.

trust

Oftentimes, I can't believe it when friends would seek for my advice, especially on matters of the heart. Why? 'Cause the fact is, they have more experiences on that field than I do. But, I always try my best to understand their situation and let them know what I think I'd do if I'm in their shoes.

I can't say that whatever I tell them's the right thing to do. I always remind them that they will have the final say and decision which will be based on what they feel is right (at least for that moment). And more often than not, whatever I tell them will get a reaction of "easier said than done". This is because I'm "still" an idealistic person. I often tend to tell them what I think they can do which can get results like those I've read from books and stories I've heard.

I've no idea how many of them "followed" my so-called advices. Whatever they decide on to do about the situations, I try to give them my 100% respect. There are times that I ask them why for me to understand and also to see things in another perspective.

I am no Joe D' Mango nor Dr. Love. One reason why I think people trusts me is because they know I can listen. I listen and afterwards, let them know how I understand their situation.

And of course, I value so much the trust they're giving me.

nonsense

I'm not my 100% best today, especially here at work.

What I did was clean my inbox. From 440+ emails, I now have 39! What an achievement! So, for those who have received "a few" email messages from me, hope you don't mind. Rest assured that what I sent you are those I thought were really worth sharing and worth pondering on.

I was also able to print some mails that I thought I should give time to read and digest the contents. Those that I thought would add some "learnings" to this lazy mind.

I'll be going to the "surprise birthday party" of Rose, one of my best friends from high school. It's arranged by her mom and hopefully I'll be able to stay awake and not bore my friends. And of course, I hope that it will make Rose's day a really special and memorable one.

patience

I'm currently trying to write about the baddicts outing last weekend at Los Baños, Laguna. I am trying to be patient to get into the details as much as possible though I wasn't sure if it's a good idea. Because it might bore the readers. But what the heck, I'll still try to share everything. So, please be patient waiting and reading it when it comes out. c",)

Thanks in advance.

trabaho

Super antok ako ngayon! Bakit?! Eh, alas-onse na po ako nakauwi kagabi. At nandito na ko sa opisina kaninang 5:45 ng umaga! O sey?! Nakapag-leave nga ako ng dalawang araw, kelangan ko namang bawiin ngayon. At heto pa, gusto kong sumama sa outing ng baddicts ngayong weekend, mukang di ko pa magagawa!!! Bakit?! Eh, dahil nga sa trabaho!!!!

Gusto ko mang pagpuyatan ngayon para mabawasan, mukhang di magandang ideya dahil di na gumagana ng maayos ang utak ko! Malamang mga mali pa magawa ko...

Hay naku! Uuwi na lang ako! Itutulog ko na lang at bukas na lang ako papasok nang maagang-maaga!!! (Sana nga...)

Wish ko lang makasama pa rin ako sa sabado...Balita ko kasi, may vodka!!!